Ambs-Punk

Amber Renee

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2/16/15 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

2/16/15

They say pain is weakness leaving the body, but mine... Mine is stuck behind bruised rib cages, a heart that can't quite beat to a coherent rhythm. It is measured in half time rather than whole notes and I have never been able to read music but, I have learned to read between the lines and believe the paranoid thoughts within my head rather than the words that are spoken to me. I am covered in thorns for my own protection, but that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, right? My life has been a mess from birth. I came into this world broken, and have stayed that way ever since and maybe it's all my fault. Maybe I decided from the beginning t

52 days later by Ambs-Punk, literature

So this is what happens when you can't let go by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

So this is what happens when you can't let go

A month ago I had you within my reach One more time Smiles, laughter and all. You saw me again and I thought Maybe this time Will be the time where You would realize how much You don't want to lose me. And within the hours that followed I was met with silence And I knew I had lost you For the millionth time. A month ago I thought we Could move past all the things We had done to each other And finally be happy Just living in one another's world. But, your actions never cease to amaze me. Your reasoning is still foreign and incomprehensible. I will never understand why You can be okay with leaving me behind. Because a month

8-31 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

8-31

They say, Broken pieces of your heart are just stepping stones to lead you into place A walkway of shattered hopes dreams promises But I have strayed and became lost in forests of freckles and strong ribcages that lock me up and tell me in hushed whispers I badly want to follow that this time will be different I will lead you home. But, broken brown eyed boy I already am.

You must know: by Ambs-Punk, literature

Captive by Ambs-Punk, literature

Forms by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

Forms

When you think of me, I hope it is not just of salt water and alcohol. Not just of those liquids I consumed and excreted around you. I hope I become a solid form in your skewed memory, made of brass or copper, or something substantial like that. Maybe even one day, a diamond. Maybe. I see you in the condensation that runs along the side of a glass. In the bottom of bottles. In raindrops on tree limbs through the lens. You are rainbow reflections and if I close my eyes, sometimes, I can feel the vibration of your vocal chords upon my collarbone. But only sometimes. I can remember the way your flesh stretched over your ribcage. Where (a

Timeline by Ambs-Punk, literature

5-29-14 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

5-29-14

Stay still. Breathe deep. Let it go. But, you know it is easier said than done. And even while you struggle to carry out the actions, the weight suppresses any strength you might have had. You're still thinking a singular thought. You are still saying his fucking name. Stay still. Breathe deep. Let it go. But, your blood pumps carbon to the brain and nothing more. Your hands quiver. Your skin still burns from the marks he left upon it. You shed tears for his absence. Undeserving, yet they come. And even though you despise his existence. You crave his presence even more. Stay still. Breathe deep. Let it go. Tell yourself you don

4-30-14 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

4-30-14

It is the last day of April. I'm laying in a dimly lit resemblance of what some people may call a living room on a mattress with no covers in air that is hot and stale and barely moving. I try to breathe, in through the nose, out through the mouth but my nose is stuffed and burning and it hurts my lungs and for some reason, my stomach, to try. Allergies, I tell myself. But, I know it is something much worse. It is the last day of April. And I realize you have been gone for a month and two weeks. You haven't seen my hair change into the color of rubies, or seen the slight change of flatness to my stomach or seen the newest scars on the in

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2/16/15 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

2/16/15

52 days later by Ambs-Punk, literature

So this is what happens when you can't let go by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

So this is what happens when you can't let go

8-31 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

8-31

You must know: by Ambs-Punk, literature

Captive by Ambs-Punk, literature

Forms by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

Forms

Timeline by Ambs-Punk, literature

5-29-14 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

5-29-14

4-30-14 by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

4-30-14

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remember, by RoseScarlet, literature

Literature

remember,

when i was your lioness and we ruled the world with scattered light and ephemeral dreams. and after all this time, i still stay up late thinking of you, pinching myself awake to keep the image of you in my head until i hear you sing me to sleep. we all have our demons, i was always yours. waking up with bruises on my arms in an empty bed, the devil inside of me whispers that it's not over yet, and he pumps turbulence from my carved open heart into my saltwater blood i feel every half-healed scar split op en to bleed yet again. wanting you is wanting the safety of the stars when i'm already in free fall (into the grave). my siren, i was b

beauty (lost) by RoseScarlet, literature

Literature

beauty (lost)

and i swear, this is the last time he'll pin me to the wall (he tells me i'm a work of art, but after all this time, i'm still just a girl) too young, too young, the walls whisper too late, too late, i sob because this battered body, this girl with the scarlet tattoos, she is too tired to escape and her wings won't work in the rain. and as i suck in air, i wonder, how many more will have to endure the pain of not being their own (God who i stopped believing in, if you can hear me, let this end, so that when i am walking in the streets with my child, i can swear, that she will never have scars on her back, she will never have welts on her

(she's the skeleton in her own closet) by RoseScarlet, literature

Literature

(she's the skeleton in her own closet)

tell me your secrets, he whispered. i fell in love with a birch once, she replied, because it was the most beautiful shade of lonely. one more trip to the bathroom tonight- some days, she'll get drunk with him, some days, she'll get drunk alone. she cut her hair, she cut her wrists (and don't forget her neck) but she says she is so glad she spent the night entangled in him him him (love, make wishes on my ribs)

after all this time, by RoseScarlet, literature

Literature

after all this time,

my heart is trapped within lungs, and the more i breathe, the more i remember- he can't stand it sometimes, i know we're both broken. but ocean boy, i'm chained to you. (maybe i'll be an anchor) soon my lungs will break with me. i touch you through a gap in the fence- sand white as innocence, eyes bright as stars. so please, horizon. tape us back together.

i'd like it if you stayed. by RoseScarlet, literature

Literature

i'd like it if you stayed.

i. let's ride off in your car, half past six (and we're still wide awake , we can make this work. let me save your life like you saved mine. let me put out the flames your pack of cigarettes left smoking on the floor, the floor i just cleaned. ii. let me stare into your eyes until they close, let me watch you fall asleep, let me stay with you as long as you'll stay with me, because we both know that nothing lasts forever, and your life will be a little shorter, so iii. please, let me touch you before you go, let me see you underneath your shadows(let me

goodbye my love. by Twilightjunkie94, literature

Literature

goodbye my love.

i guess i'd never thought you would actually do it. cut the strings, cut your loses, and say it was my fault for loving you. remember that time you cried to her because you couldn't love me back? i do. i didn't think i would understand how it felt to walk out of your house without any hey or goodbye, run my hands over that burnt orange car where we blared the goo goo dolls, get in my car and drive away. i don't think i ever thought about how it would feel when you left. 2 a.m with my head in your lap and you telling me i wouldn't lose you. or when our fights got so intense i thought you would hit me. or when this, all of this feels li

i won the flies with vinegar by ittybittycrazy, literature

Literature

i won the flies with vinegar

0. I am writing this whatever about Friday and weed and red bull and very-much-so-alive people. I spend too much time fantasizing. Mostly about sticking things in electrical sockets and dropping my blowdryer in the sink while I'm brushing my teeth, how my body would shake and shudder, how no one would see my blue eyes as they roll back to see the projections in the back of my eyes. I would fall, and smell maybe even of charred flesh. Every time I go down the stairs I am to blame for my mother's miscarriages. Maybe even stars. So, this is a whatever about weed and stars. 30. It is Friday and I am scared. I am full of conviction and sor

work by Twilightjunkie94, literature

Literature

work

i put my face to the cold window and breathe out words begging you to come back but you don't see them because you're gone, the words fade out faster than you did. flash back to the day i was crying in your car and you held my face and said you loved me. but you didn't get out of the car because that would have meant you actually did love me. i was always too much work, wasn't i? flash back to the couch scene with the oc playing in the background. kids getting drunk while we were trying to figure out what the fuck we were. i loved you and you loved being loved. you were the king and i was your fucking jester. flash back to me asking yo

Deviation Spotlight

Forms by Ambs-Punk, literature

Literature

Forms

Ambs-Punk

About Ambs-Punk

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United States
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

Badges

My Bio

I've changed.
I've grown.
I've loved.
I've lost.
I've lived.
I've died.

I've become stronger.
I've fought for everything I have.
I worship my family, my friends.
I've gotten knocked down so many times,
but I'm still standing.

Nothing will bring me down.
I will never give up.

Current Residence: Living Hell, Oregon.
Favourite genre of music: Rock:Alternative:Metal
Favourite style of art: Photography.
Personal Quote: "The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."

Favourite Movies

Moulin Rouge. Across The Universe. The Notebook. Sweeney Todd.

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Evanescence. 10 Years. Misery Signals. Paramore.

Favourite Games

Kingdom Hearts

Other Interests

Music. Photography. Writing. Love. Friends.

Posts

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Ambs-Punk

Apr 28, 2009

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

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Profile Comments 13

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Narex

Jun 22, 2012

Oh and by the way you're pretty

Narex

Jun 22, 2012

Oh it did? yessss

i was thinking of you too
And it really has been forever!

Narex

Jun 16, 2012

Well that didnt work... lmao

Howdy! Happy Valentines Day. What's up?

Narex

Oct 14, 2010

I wanna hear your voice but I don't want you to call
I wanna see you, girl, but not see you at all
I wanna make up, but I still want to fight
I wanted to break up but it just don't feel right
(Sitting here waiting on you)

I hate you, you hate me. But still can't escape "we"
And all the bullshit we've been going through lately
Heartbroke, Lovestruck, telling ya'll, "It ain't me"
Life without you, girl, is something that I can't see
I ain't gon' lie, say, "I don't get lonely"
But if only so much, I could kick it with the homies
And somebody told me that you already moved on
I broke up with you, you ain't supposed to get your groove on!
Not now, at least wait a couple weeks
Got me looking like a chump with my business in the streets
Been a couple weeks, but it feel like you still there
No matter how I clean, I'm still finding your hair
Or some shit you forgot, or I'm standing in that spot
Where you came so hard, I didn't think that you would stop
But, quiet as I step, I know you miss me just a little
Washed my sheets when you left but still smell you on my pillow

And everything I do, it reminds me of you
And everything I see, it reminds me of "we"
And everytime I lust, it reminds me of us
Girl, I wanna stay together 'cause I hate breaking up

You ain't call me last night, what you trying to be? Strong?
You'll call yourself stupid when you finally hear this song
'Cause I would've took you back, I was waiting to, infact
All you had to do was holler, girl, I would've just collapsed
And fell into a trap and started to relapse
And your ass never called so it just never happened
Now I'm thinking Jasmine, Tanya, Cheraine
Some ex's I can call that'll probably ease the pain
I tried to follow through, but I wound up calling you
Hanging up before a ring, girl, it's really all on you
But you wanna get into it, make me mad, push my buttons
Got us tripping over little stuff that don't mean nothing
I was sick of the suffering, the fighting, the fussing
What happened to the love in the late night discussions
'Bout children, and family, the future, the planet
And now it's all over 'cause you couldn't understand me

And everything I do, it reminds me of you
And everything I see, it reminds me of "we"
And everytime I lust, it reminds me of us
Girl, I wanna stay together 'cause I hate breaking up

Started missing you again last night
'Til I remembered all the reasons that your ass loved to fight
It's like, dude, I really wanted this to work
But you had to get your shit together first,
and what's worse, I really wanted you to stay
but I needed you to leave 'cause we was fighting everyday
All right, not everyday, I know that's a lot on it
We was supposed to be companions, but we was more like opponents
Don't this song make you wanna do it one more time?
Could I still be the only dude that's on your mind?
I'm too proud to beg, but I'm hoping that you not
I would take you back quick, girl, without a second thought
But I'm caught up in my pride and I can't make the call
Didn't want to break up, just a break, that's all
It's been a long time, I know I probably shouldn't have left you
'Cause your the only woman that I wanna sleep next to

And everything I do, it reminds me of you
And everything I see, it reminds me of "we"
And everytime I lust, it reminds me of us
Girl, I wanna stay together 'cause I hate breaking up

You say you're sick of me and I say I'm sick of you
But we crazy 'bout eachother, girl, what we gon' do?
Said I needed you to leave, but I hate to see you go
Can't make up my mind, girl, I just don't know
I wanna make this work but I'm sick of the struggle
Girl, what I gotta do to make you realize I love you?

blehhrawrgrrl

Nov 22, 2009

thanks for the fave